Getting started

First you’ll need a good personal profile: try to introduce yourself in such a way that a stranger would want to hang out with you. Yes, I know it sounds a bit awkward, but keep in mind that the hosts will invite you into their home, so they’d like to know as much as possible about you. Write a bit about what you do in life and what you’re passionate about, what you like and where your interests lie etc. Make sure to include some photos of yourself and some quirky fun facts, which set you apart from everyone else. Couchsurfing has a default profile template, which will help guide you and you can have a look at my profile as an example here.

Use the search bar to browse available hosts and make sure you specify your travel dates in the calendar there, so you don’t waste time finding hosts, which are unavailable. When you’ve found one you like, read their profile carefully, particularly the part describing their home to learn whether they’re offering a bed in a shared space or a private room, how far from the city they live, whether they smoke, have pets, which you’re allergic to, or kids you don’t like. That section will also state how many people they can host at once, how long they’d prefer you to stay and whether they accept last minute requests or not.

How to get a host:

Next, write them a message request, preferably several days before you’re planning to arrive. You can also send last minute requests if you’re in a hurry, but pick those hosts which have a high response time for that. Make sure your request is personal and based on their profile: write a short introduction about yourself, where you’re planning to travel and why, then explain why you think you’d get along with your chosen host, stress the parts you have in common based on your profile etc., and tell them what you can offer as a grateful guest. Don’t send the same requests to everyone as most hosts will immediately reject insincere and generic requests.

Of course, everyone has their own approach to writing requests, so do it in your own personal style, but I’d advise you not to lie for the sake of getting a place to sleep, as couchsurfing is supposed to be a community for meeting genuine people you can be friends with, so let’s try to keep it this way. Also, it’s bad manners to write to too many hosts at once. Try to send your requests early enough that you can send them to the next host after the first one rejects it, so you don’t need to cancel on a lot of people after they accept.

Staying safe

Unfortunately, there’s always a risk associated with meeting complete strangers over the Internet, even more so if you’re going to their house. That can’t be fully eliminated, but it can be considerably mitigated: always check the references, particularly when travelling alone and even more so if you are female. I cannot stress this enough, so don’t ever stay with a host with no references at all. I know everyone needs to get started somewhere, but a person who is serious about being a good host will make sure they at least have some personal references and a verified profile, because they understand how the system works.

I know some people accept any accommodation when pressed for time and money and lots of people tend to experiment with hosts with no references because they expect to get a place more easily, but ask yourself, do you really want to risk it? I’m aiming this particularly at my fellow women, as we tend to be statistically more vulnerable to harassment and violence as solo travellers. Although I love solo travelling, it would be foolish not to acknowledge that and ignore taking precautions when you can, especially since there are so many great hosts with references, that choosing an unknown one is just asking for trouble.

After you’ve chosen a host and they’ve accepted your request to stay, don’t be afraid to talk to them, to get their information beforehand and even get to know them a bit if you can. It will make both of you feel more comfortable, particularly if it’s your first time couchsurfing. Similarly, don’t be afraid of looking stupid by asking for clarification if you don’t understand something, because different cultures perceive things differently, just make sure you do it in a respectful way.

Additionally, make sure someone you trust always knows where you’re going and where you are. The Couchsurfing website will ask you for an emergency contact and it’s good to have one on your own, because accidents and crime do happen. I usually tell my boyfriend and sometimes my family members where I’m heading next, but I make sure that at least one of them knows the name of the person I’m going to be staying with and that they are expecting me to check in at some point during the day (I usually update my people about my travels when I’m getting ready to sleep, even just a short message of “everything is fine” will do the job).

And lastly, always trust your gut. If something feels off, don’t accept the hosting request or leave if you are already there. Don’t feel obliged to stay just because they offered to host you, if the person feels shady, if their house is weird in any way or if you just plain feel uncomfortable for some reason, leave. There’s always another option, like a hotel, a different last minute host or even an open bus station waiting room in a pinch, although that is not particularly recommendable. Try to leave in a polite way without offending them, but go and remember to leave a reference afterwards to alert future travellers. However, be honest and exact when you write your reference, because sometimes people just don’t get along and unless that person did something nasty, there’s no reason to unjustly tarnish their reputation.

How to be a good guest

Now, let’s talk about what the hosts are getting from you in return for hosting you. If you’re thinking to yourself that they’re getting the privilege of your excellent company, then you’re right, but it is not quite that simple. Couchsurfing is about sharing your life and should be a mutual experience of connecting to your guest/host, so make sure you fit some quality hanging out time into your sightseeing schedule, if the host is not busy. Some people will offer space to crash even when they don’t have time to get to know you and that’s fine, but you should still try to make them feel appreciated as they are saving you quite a bit of money if nothing else.

It should probably be obvious, but it needs to be said anyway: always clean up after yourself and don’t take what the hosts are offering you for granted. If they allow you to take food from their fridge don’t just clean it out like it’s an eating competition and if they don’t offer, then don’t take it or ask first if you need something. It’s also common courtesy to offer to contribute money for the food you ate if you’re staying for longer and to help out with the chores around the house. After all, the host is losing valuable free time by choosing to spend it with you, which they are only happy to do if you’re not a douchebag.

Always tell the hosts the exact dates and preferably even the time of when you’re coming and going, whether you’re solo or travelling with someone else. It’s bad manners to just unexpectedly spring an extra person on your host and usually the hosts require each traveller to have their own couchsurfing profile, but some will accept additional people if they are properly presented as normal people in advance.

Personally I also like to bring a small gift from my country if I can and cook them dinner or take them out for a drink if there’s time. It is not meant as payment, but rather an expression of appreciation and gratitude – the thought is usually appreciated, but by no means mandatory. Cooking dinner for the host will also give you an additional excuse to hang out, get to know each other and smoothen out the awkward edges if there are any left.

So this should about cover everything you need to know to get started with couchsurfing and their website also has plenty more information about it. Personally, I love it and try to do it as often as I can, particularly when travelling solo, but I still haven’t done it nearly enough. I’m planning to write about all of my experiences at some point and you can find the ones I’ve managed to write so far under the Couchsurfing tag here. In short, they have all been extremely positive and I’m still in touch with lots of my hosts.

Let me know if you want to know anything else in the comments or if you’ve tried couchsurfing before. 🙂